Nature And Nurture

I was watching a baby the other day. His thighs were the fattest I'd ever seen, truly one of the stars of what I call "Deprived Child Syndrome" or "Michelin Man Syndrome" that healthy breastfed babies get. He was happy, bubbling bubbles, totally fascinated by his toes.

And I thought how cool it is that we come into life expecting to be taken care of, expecting to be loved and for the world to revolve around us.

Every mother I've ever talked to confirms that each child is born with an established personality. I have yet to hear a parent say "oh my....this baby is exactly like my first one." Usually it's the complete opposite- we think we have it down but the new one comes to confound us, reminding us,once again, that we have absolutely nothing to hold onto in terms of ego in parenting.

And every time I remember new second time parents marveling, I wonder how it is that we can think we are simply some Skinnerean experiment. How is it that we think that we are solely a result of our conditioning and environment? No way.

With the gabillions of chemical responses, hormonal influences, thousands of neurons firing, personalities that are clear before labor, individual responses of newborns to the exact same environment...how could we possibly think that we are born blank slates with nothing inherent about who we are?

I'm not saying who or what it is that we are when born or what we bring in. I'm not vying for some specific story of the model of the universe or creation. You won't hear me saying that some god on high has given us a task here to complete, our fates set in place the moment we are conceived. I don't care how anyone else explains all this to themselves. I simply notice what mothers have known for centuries.

I'm not arguing that nurture plays a role in our development. I am suggesting that we come in with our own unique makeup to respond to what's in our environment. One person might shrivel and die in an abuse situation. The other in the same family, may end up using that experience as a tool to create amazing, positive things in their lives. How each responds has nothing to do with the outer world. It's their inner world that creates a particular outcome.

I love the mystery of this. It makes for total lack of control and, for me, wondrous opportunity for creation because of the wild cards of our own unique nature's response to our nurture.

Art from here

A Note To The Artists Whose Work I Share Here

I love art!

I would love to be an actual patron of the arts, buying pieces to enjoy and support you. It's one of my intentions and I envision being in that position some day.

In the meantime, I share the art I find that I like and would buy (hope to buy in the future.)

I am someone who feels art should be shared. I know many artists and they struggle financially. I'm also a networker, and like to share stuff I'm excited about. My word of mouth adverstising has brought business to many in many fields- restaurants, products, foods, bodyworkers, artists, doctors, therapists, workshops, etc. I find it the best way for us to share what we have and be able so support ourselves doing what we love. I find it a win/win situation.

I also see the internet as an amazing vehicle to have our energy out there as little beacons of light, providing us with incredible opportunity to spread the word about what we want to offer the world and get ourselves out there. I assume that is why you are on the internet to begin with.

I am aware that there are copywright laws. It is not my intent to violate them. I do my very best to give credit to the artists out there and provide a way to spread the word about your talent so that it can come back to you and bring you increased income. I don't contact you beforehand because this is a blog, I put these posts up quickly, I find the art as quickly as I can and I don't have the time to write you and ask for your approval.

If you want me to take your art, down, I will remove it within ten minutes of opening your email. I hope you understand the intent with which I used it, which was not to rip you off, but rather to celebrate you, your vision and talent and to advertise for you, too. If you do not want these gifts, then just tell me and I will find other art and artists who do.

Many Blessings and thanks to you!!

Father Issues

I'm not one to try and dig up all sorts of history to focus on in my healing. Being an actional person, I tend to think that rehashing old stories is counter-productive in the long run, serving only to keep me stuck in Victim Mode.

I do, however, think it useful in the short term to identify areas in which I may be unconsciously operating from.

Over the years I've tended to identify my main issues/woundings as stemming from my relationship with my mother. Occasionally my intuition might flit on the concept of "hm...gee...this is interesting that I don't feel anything around my father." But he remained a blank.

Years ago, in one journey/meditation I did around healing with my parents, I felt/saw/experienced us on a beach. We held hands, dancing in a circle. We started to fly. My dad kind of faded out of the picture behind my mother and I "got" (in that way that we get things while in trance: fwoomfwoomfwoom) that most of the issues were with my father and that we had all agreed on a soul level that she would put herself between the two of us. It was a true ah-ha moment.

However this vision was not enough for me to focus there or do any of the real work that I devoted to my mother (and other) issues. I find that quite cute...running from the what, Pamm?

He calls me now. I'm not sure what that looks like just yet, but I feel the call of healing my personal relationship with male energy. I have chosen, these last fourteen years, to learn what it means to be devoted to being with and serving male energy as it redefines and re-creates itself. But the years have come full circle (or what looks like full circle to me right now, anyway) and I'm learning the things I "need" that I've put on the back burner in my crusade of being "of service."

Years ago I did a stint around healing The Father when I did an adventure with Christianity and disconnected angry Radical Feminism. I'm not there any more and I don't know what any of this looks like today.

I do know it's deeper. And I do know that when I put the intention out there, things appear. It's already begun as I kindasorta began this a few weeks ago. It's scary, but completely freeing. This time of year is historically one where I experience stagnated, stifling, stuck energy. My birthday is soon and I've had intuitive flashes that it's about pre-birth body memories of waiting...sitting...or that since mother was a smoker I'm reliving feeling terrified and paralyzed with no oxygen, not being able to get the "life force" I needed. Stay small...stay quiet...maybe I'll survive. Whatever....

But this year I feel more energized than I have in years. It grows daily. I've been taking concrete steps toward doing life differently, learning trust in Life and Love...learning to listen as best I can then act according only to my heart...no shoulds...following the illogical...not doing what I think others need, not taking on projections. I'm both excited and scared shitless. Yum.

Time for a Quest.

Art: The Love Between A Father and a Daughter by Keith Burns from here

Pronoia

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT from Rob Brezny:

"Evil is boring. The universe is friendly. Life is on your side. Joy is your birthright. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. In fact, all of creation wants you to succeed. Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Retrain your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it."

* The preceding oracle comes from his book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Here's a review of the book.

Art: Waterfall from here

Lava from here

Icebergs from here

Trust

I'm asking again (and it feels really wonderful to be here).

If it's manifested, clear, no question as to what is or is to be created...then is is Trust?

Isn't Trust when we have nothing to back up our perceptions on the outer world?

When it looks like all is lost and we are "not safe?" or "not getting?" or "not loved?"

Isn't Trust the essence of peace, right here, right now?...not needing to ponder, plan, worry, anticipate, grasp?

Isn't it the knowing that this moment is perfect, no matter what our stories define it as?

And that maybe all this is soul practice for Trusting the perfection and Love offered in Death? (as the Tibetans teach)

That Trust has nothing to do with anyone or anything outside myself?

Isn't trust the core of Unconditional Love, inner peace...all of it?

I'm asking about trust as I continue to learn it.

Lovin' the journey.

Art: Open Heart by Leonard Morales, Jr.

The World Is Happy

I found this article today on Yahoo news and it made me smile. Basically, it's about a study that has found that even with "all the negativity" going on in the world, that we are, as a planet, happier people than we used to be.

I like this....and it makes me happier knowing that even scientists and now Yahoo News, are talking about it. It's like a secret is finally out of the bag or something. Hey, world...we CAN be happy, right here, right now. We ARE happy. All we have to do is remember we came here to be happy and not have the ickies take over in our minds.

I was listening to an Abraham tape the other day and they were talking about how if the world, as it really is, was on TV, there would be happy, happy, fun, sweet, happy, then a two second fuzzy noise, then it would go back to happy for hours. Those two seconds would have been the totality of the "bad" that is on the Earth, amidst the joy and abundance that is the overwhelming energy on the planet. Why do we continue to choose to see the bad?

Although I haven't reached the place yet where I am there 24/7...and especially not in times of intense stress... I do like knowing that, in the end, I have a choice whether I want to focus on what makes me sad or unhappy...or...I can go watch a You Tube video like this:



Matt gets around...and you can find his other videos on YouTube and here. He even has a blog.

Matt inspires me. I can't help but be in awe of someone who's touched so much of the Earth and the hearts of the humans living on it. Not only did I joy-cry when I first watched this video, it's happened every time I've watched it again. (I've also had word from a couple of diehard non-goobers that it makes them cry, too.) I can't explain fully why in words just yet, but he jolts my core.

I'm thinkin' he's one helluva angel.

"What If God Was One Of Us?"

That song by Joan Osborne often runs through my mind when I walk through the streets of Los Angeles.

Today I saw a woman, probably in her 70's, with a wizened face pulling a small cart filled with junk. She was getting up from a bus stop bench. I happened to glance down and noticed that her pants were stained with dark splotches at the crotch, a fresh trail of liquid darkened her pants. As I passed the smell of urine permeated the air.

My heart opened. I remembered reading somewhere, sometime long ago that some Native Americans look at the disabled, the crazy, the shunned as Teachers and Holy.

I wondered if she was in pain. I thought of the vastness of human suffering. I thought of the impossiblity of any one person "fixing" it. I wished we honored our elders, the outcast, the one closer to the other worlds than we.

I'm so in awe of souls that choose to come and experience life in this way. Seeing her touched me and reminded me, one again, at the power, the majesty and the mystery of creation.